Once I threw rings and earrings from my ex into the dark East River.
That was my first big broke up. I was heart broken, and hoping to renew everything. I had no idea what to do, and getting rid off everything related to him was only choice I had. Also, I had to move out from my apartment, so I downsized all of my possessions to one big suitcase, one small suitcase, and one bag.
I am going to write about some of things came to me after this big change.
First, since I was not brave enough to throw myself into the river, I am still me. Even though, I was hoping to be a brand-new me, it didn’t happened. I am still the same person in many ways.
And I realized that I do not have much obsession with my possessions. I am naturally a minimalist, but this big “cleaning” made myself more clear about what is important to me and what is not. Since then, I have been reducing my possessions.
When I tried to get rid off things, I was asking myself one same question: is this Daiji? or not? That is a Japanese word I use a lot: Daiji (大事 /Da-ee-gee).
I had had a hard time to translate this word into English. It means like, important, precious, irreplaceable, special, to adore, to cherish, and to love…too many meanings in one word. Actually, I cannot explain this in Japanese either… It is like, “what does love mean?” kind of question.
On Valentine’s day, my husband gave me flower, pink tiger lily, some were blooming some were still buds. I was so happy and nurtured it with joy. I’d changed water every morning, and enjoyed it until the last buds opened. He told me “I am going to buy you flower sometimes, because now I know it means to you a lot.”
…Ah! That one! “Daiji” is, “something means to ME a lot.”
I decide the value. I don’t need anyone to judge. Cheep, expensive, old, new, beautiful, or useful…, all doesn’t matter.
And as myself is changing all the time, this can be changed anytime, too.
Like the meaning of my old rings had changed.
I have very limited space inside me for those important things. I cannot keep many things with me.
Well, I will write about this next time!